There is a strange girl called Emily I met in a random place, at a random time, during a random moment…. It’s completely out of the blue how it happened, but it makes me feel that there isn’t an end to the random possibilities that happen in life as it goes on. it wont ever end untill you die, and there…
No one can tell you what you should change – it’s your poem, not ours.
Normally, poems have shorter lines, and are not always expressed in whole sentences. Most people might consider that this is a piece of prose rather than poetry, for that reason.
But I’m an Emily as well – and I liked it!