I have been going out with my boyfriend for about 4 months now. He is absolutely lovely and has never done anything wrong or ever annoyed me. I can talk to him really easily and he is really handsome. All my friends say he is gorgeous and that he reminds them of Clive Owen.
The weird thing is that he reminds me…
That is the most silly ******* reason I can think of to break up with someone. Two things: He’s great, you say so. He’s nice and, you’re comfortable around him and he’s handsome. How many more guys do you think you’re going to find like that? Secondly, psychologists have done many studies regarding why people find others attractive and one of the most proven reasons is that they remind us of our parents. I believe Freud did some serious research in this area. We, subconsciously want to further our own physical traits and so we find others who resemble us and our family to be most attractive because they are the best genetic matches to further our genes. Now, on the psychological side of things we’re literally programed from birth to love our parents no matter how much we actually hate them (in some cases), so it would only be natural to find the same characteristics we love about our parents to be desirable in members of the opposite sex. We are after all looking for someone to take care of us to a certain degree.
Now, if you really are having difficultly letting him touch you because of this there might be some subsidiary reasons as to your uncomfortable feelings around him. Try and pick out everything about him that makes you uneasy. Maybe it has more to do with something else.
Do I think you should break up with him over looking like your dad? No. My boyfriend looks like my dad and thank God was my dad hot when he was younger.
However I’m not you and if this is a real concern of yours it’s not healthy to continue dating someone who makes you so uncomfortable you don’t want him touching you. Do what’s best for you.
Believe it or not, it’s actually not that uncommon. Because the structure of our psychology is built throughout our childhood, the relationship between our parents becomes, for better or worse, essentially an unconscious “template” for what a relationship should be. Even if we don’t realize it, that template becomes involved in the types of people that we find attractive and who we are more likely to form a romantic bond with.
Playing the armchair psychologist for a moment, I think it’s less the whole creepy Freudian Oedipus / Electra thing, and more simply that we grow up seeing and understanding our parents marriage. Because of that, we tend gravitate towards a similar partnership with a similar person – the understanding from watching our parents relationship just makes it easier to navigate and figure out how to make our own relationships work.
The flip side to that is when we grow up around an abusive relationship. That same type of imprinting, for want of a better word, will lead people into similar abusive relationships over and over again until they understand and consciously break that connection.
Wow, first off. If you really like the guy’s personality and he treats you good, I think you should forget the fact he looks slightly similar to your father. If you guys get along great don’t ruin it.
Did you just now realize he had similar qualities to your father? Because if that’s going to determine your being with him you would’ve seen it from the beginning when you first got together.
And hey, if your friends think he’s gorgeous– he has to be a good looking guy, tell him to do his hair a little different and see if that changes anything.
Actually, there are several studies proving that women subconsciously seek out men who remind them of their fathers. Why? Because most of us really love our dads and know how good they were and want that type of person in their lives too.
Why would you break up with him based on his physical appearance if he’s really as great as you say? That seems kind of silly to me. I think everybody has physical similarities; my husband looks really similar to my cheating ex-fiancee. Thankfully I can look past that; it just shows I go for a type.
Talk it over with your boyfriend… it’s not his fault and it would really crush him if you broke up over something he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t look or act like your dad, so what’s got into you? Does anyone else think like you?
He’s sounds perfect in every way; give the guy a break.
Hm, sounds weird.
I think you should think your boyfriend looks different. See, when something is stuck in your head, you can’t get it out!
I think just let time pass, it’ll go away eventually. He seem s like a nice guy. Stay with him.
Well, if its that way you can never really have a long term relationship with him cause of the dad similarities, so your choice but my opinion…. are you shure the guy isnt your brother maybe 😛
People say, the people you fall in love with, are very simular to your dad; whether its looks or personality 🙂 dont worry about it, doesnt mean anything 🙂
it is not at all unusual for a girl to be attracted to a guy who reminds her of her dad. don’t dwell on it. enjoy his company.
Tell your boyriend about your problem and maybe he can change is appearance? With a new hair cut, get his eyebrow plucked or tattoo his face?