Please give feedback to my WW2 poem i wrote :)?


Hi this is my WW2 poem I wrote, I’m 12 years old and we are writing poems in class this is just one I came up with, please give feedback :))

Guns blow, bombs shatter, hearts break.
The dark night sky is bleak and opaque, the ache of my heart is simply too much too take.
There’s no time to think before…

Make it about Vietnam because everyone’s more dramatic about that one

You might want to make the lines more defined.

Guns blow, bombs shatter, hearts break.
The dark night sky is bleak and opaque
the ache of my heart is simply too much too take.

12!?! A person in grade 6 or 7 wrote this poem? It’s fantastic! a lot better than what i could come up with at that age. Hell I’d be happy to write something like that now! Wise far beyond your years. I LOVE the lines

Every single soldier that has fallen,
every single life lost, soul lost, hero lost.
Every one is a flag of truce,
A poppy in a dead land.

Their blood is like the tears of War. The last line is sooo poetic! 🙂

For a 12 year old person to come up with correct grammar and such thought is remarkable enough but the poem itself is fantastic! It has great imagery and it is very strong. I quite like it. The only bad thing is that I couldn’t really pick up anything that connected it distinctly to WW2 alone. It could be about any war. Otherwise its brilliant! It would make a great song.

Awesome poem! It really shows the horrible things war brings but through it all there’s all ways a hope it will end.

Not bad for a 12-year-old.
And look! Proper grammar! Yay!

Its great with the thought you put into it but i see the MW2 part but your heading more towards real life everyone has pain killer now JK but not bad att all!!

:0

This is a really good effort, could use cleaning up/rhythm and rhyme, you have a lot of talent and I think it’s poignant/curious that you chose WW2 as your subject. why?

are you really 12 years old?Pretty good

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