My 17 year old daughter is pregnant just found out because its starting to show and such so i took her to the OB/GYN and she is 20 weeks pregnant and she said she hid it because she was terrified and didn’t know what else to do and that she has hid it from her boyfriend the babies dad. And avoiding him so he…
First of all your daughter isn’t a baby. She’s a young adult. Now she has to grow up a little faster. The decision to have sex brings with it the possible consequences of pregnancy; especially if she had unprotected sex and birth control was non-existent or failed.
The boy is going to be a father and he deserves to know. Also, the child deserves to have the father’s name on the birth certificate.
Also, think about how cruel it is, to hide the fact that someone is a father, from his child, and the other way around. Imagine if someone stole your daughter from you at the hospital and lied to her. Same with her stealing a child from the baby’s father.
The fact that she’s hiding this from her boyfriend and from the world tells me she’s got something to fear or she’s feeling guilty over something.
Whatever it is, its no longer just her issue. Now there’s a child on the way. Within the next 4 months or so, she’s going to give birth. That’s a responsibility too.
Bottom line, this is her life now. She has to let the boy know and the boy’s family has to know.
Its only right. Anything less would be selfish and inexcusable.
I become pregnant at 17 and hid it from my mother. She found out and sat me down and gave me a lecture and then was ok with it as much as she could be. I didn’t hide it from the father though. But if I had the best advice I would have for you is to take her to the boyfriends house go inside and sit her down with the parents and boyfriend and you tell them. Or make her tell them all. They need to know they especially if she is keeping the child. But remember that’s your daughter and however the parents or boyfriend react stick behind her 100 percent cuz she need you now more than ever. And keep in mind the boyfriend may leave and she will néed you then also. But they have a right to know. Good luck.
You go talk to the boys mother without her.
Then go back home, tell her they know and it is out in open now. That you support her and your family will support her BUT she may loose some friends over this and his family may fight it for a while. Get a paternity test ready for when the child is born to make sure this is the father. This father has a right to know and see this baby. He should be getting a part-time job to help pay for things and pay some sort of child support and he should get some type of parenting plan for when he sees child. A few hours a day in the beginning but then after a few months, as long as the family is a decent family, he should be getting every other weekend and a few after-school visits a week. Try to make this work with the other family so it is not bitter. Tell the other mother when you talk to her, that you are not after her son or money but expect him after the paternity test to help be a father. Good luck!
I am a father of three girls, 19, 17, and 15. Thank God, I have not had to deal with that issue, and it has terrified both my wife and me for years that we might have to one day. First of all she is only 17 and therefore not an adult. You are the adult and should make the decision for her. If any issue arose that drug this into court. You would be pointed out as the adult and would ultimately be held responsible for not informing the other parent and grandparents. Since he is only 16 himself.
Next, He does have the right to know as well as his parents. Tell them, or make her go with you to tell them. But, they need to be told anyway.
The focus needs to be what is the best for your grandchild. Your daughter and her BF are now parents and must use the priorities and responsibilities of being a parent guild their life.
Assuming both parents and families are reasonably responsible (this is not your decision, but Child Protective Services & the court’s decision). Their child is best raised by her mother and father and their extended families.
You wish to use a legal intermediary, i.e. lawyer to contact the father and assuming he’s also underage, his parents.
Unless circumstances are unusual to do otherwise, will cause a lot more problems later in life and will most likely harm your grandchild.
Good question. Does the father of any child have the right to know he is the father, even if it will drastically change his life, and that of his family. I’m only guessing here, but I think if you do tell them that their response will be that your hussy daughter took advantage of their angel son, and corrupted him! How dare she!
So now, not only her world will change, but yours also. Who is going to raise this child? Is your daughter dropping out of school to preserve her dignity? What will friends say, what will the neighbors think? Sadly, your daughter is not the first to experience such issues, there are literally thousands and thousands of such cases.
What I would do is this, sit down with your daughter and discuss all the options, and see what she has in mind. However, as you are the only adult here, you have to decide the right course of action.
Your daughter is being unrealistic, unreasonable and she may need counseling because she really is frightened out of her wits. What does she believe? If she hides her head in the sand nobody will see the baby bump? At 20 weeks about half the population could spot the signs even if she says she is hiding it.
The baby will not go away and if she wants to be a responsible parent, she needs to notify the prospective father. There is the emotional aspect and the financial aspect. Like it or not, this is his baby too and he may choose to dis-involve himself emotionally but he is financially responsible for the next 18 years — many of which he will be working and it shouldn’t be for a sports car and a 60 inch plasma TV or for his next girlfriend’s birthday present!
Best of luck to you and your child. She needs support, help and understanding. You nor I would want to be in her shoes right now but this is a reality and you and she will learn to cope and survive. Whatever her life plans, she doesn’t have to change them. She just needs to make room for an extra passenger on the ride.
Daddy has a right to know. Your daughter will appreciate the help later on as far as child support and such goes. It’s hard being a single mother as an adult, let alone a young teen. She isn’t old enough to make the proper decisions for herself and her child yet. That job is yours, and that baby has a right to have his/her father in their life (papa willing).
God i hate girls some times… OF course u TELL HIM…! Ok i no this is gna sound wrong but think of it this way say the father of the daughter was the one pregnant with ur daughter back in the day and hid it from u How would it feel and especially if u didnt ever find out for years… please tell him for ur own shake of humanity
If your girl wont tell the boy and his parents, then you go tell his parents. Softtouch is right. Seems your baby girl got knocked up to keep YOU in diapers. Shes probably punishing YOU. If someone says its not the boy’s baby then get dna tests done. If your girl lied to you you figure out who the real father is. I pray God your girls not a slut. If youre lucky she only had 1 boy.
The baby’s the one that deserves to have 2 parents. Growing up not knowing who the dad is well thats cruel and trashy.
Teach your girl birth control and tell her to keep it in her panties till shes big enough to support kids.
Till then she should go out and get a job finish school and take responsibility for herself. Nows the time to learn that. Not when shes 34 years old and her delinquent turns 18.