I want my mom and dad to foster a kid for my little brother?


I have a little brother he is 3

i’m 14 my sis is 16 and my brother is 22
i know, a wide age range, anyway
I really want them to foster a kid
because my brother is so lonely all the time, and he wants to play all the time. I feel bad for him because hes always in a little corner talking to himself and…

Hi Hope,

What a nice big sister you are trying to find a friend for your little brother. Before you conclude fostering a child for him would be best, here are a few things to think about:

True, your little brother may need a friend right now. Foster children come with their own set of needs. Those are what social workers must consider first when trying to locate the perfect home for each individual child who needs one.

I know you are very excited with the idea of having a foster child live with you. The prospective parents must be just as excited about the idea as everyone else in the family. It sounds like your parents already have a large family with all of your siblings. They must initiate things if foster care is what they want to pursue. If your mother is not interested, there is no way your family could be approved as a foster family. It needs the support of every member, and for the right reasons. As you know, each additional child is extra responsibilities, time, and energy. Foster children often have additional needs, so foster parents have to be specially trained to address any issues that may come up. They would have to take classes, pass home inspections, etc. in order to qualify. If they got started now, it would still be awhile before your home would be ready to take care of foster children. Then there is no guarantee that there would be a child in need of foster services in your area at that time, who also fits the description that you want for your brother. Foster children often have siblings that they try to keep together too. Keep in mind that foster care is temporary. The children will likely return to their family or other relatives when they get their problems resolved.

Your little brother is 3. It won’t be long before he will be meeting his own friends at school or other activities. Are there other children in your neighborhood or church? How about cousins? You & your sister could help find age-appropriate activities for your little brother to do. You still can’t rule out that your parents may have more children. Do you or any of your siblings have any friends who have little brothers? Maybe you could all get together sometime. One last idea – your brother might want a pet to play with & keep him company. It will also be good to help teach him responsibility such as feeding the pet & taking him on walks.

I guess what I want to stress most is that foster care needs to be done for the right reasons, to serve the needs of what each foster child needs. Even if foster care ends up not being right for your family at this time, you can always keep it in mind for yourself for when you grow up. Again, thank you for thinking of your little brother. Please consider additional ways to keep him entertained in case foster care does not work out. Good luck whatever happens.

julie j
reunited adoptee

I’m truly sorry your brother is lonely that can happen when you’re the baby and there is such a wide age gap with your siblings. Fostering is not meant to provide someone’s child or sibling with a play buddy. Not to mention you generally don’t choice who you foster you are just placed w/a foster child, your parents could be placed with a child much older then him or even much younger then him.

What happens when they become great pals and then the boy/girl is returned to his/her family or moves to another foster family?

I realize you say he wants to play all the time but that’s the way kids his age are, you and your siblings were probably the same way. Only difference is that you had a sibling that was only 3 years older then you. I will guess that when your brother was that age your parents were a lot younger. Moving out going off to college for you and your sister, again that is just generally fate of the youngest in the family. By the time you go off to college 4 or 5 years your brother will be 7 or 8 years old, perhaps he will at this time have a best friend that lives next door or down the street.

You might encourage him to create an imaginary friend

Please don’t.

First of all…your mom does not want a foster child. Foster kids are so used to not being wanted that even if you and your siblings wanted the child, your mother (the main care-giver) does not and that child would feel unwanted.

Second, your mother probably does not have the time or energy to consider a foster child. Foster children usually come with “baggage.” (Not all, but most) They need ALOT of attention and care to help them transition and overcome their issues.

Third, I am willing to bet that you and your brothers and sisters will not be happy during the first couple of months (and maybe longer). The child may demand more attention from your parents, need more caring, more help, and more time. Therefore initally, there may be less time and attention to you and your other brothers and sisters.

Forth, a foster child isn’t something that you can “use” for your purposes. (IN this case, entertaining your brother). Foster children are kids, and most have been used for other people’s purposes for most of their lives. They need a home that wants them JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE GREAT KIDS.

Play with your brother and forget this.

It is completely wrong to foster a child simply so that your sibling can have a playmate. It takes a special kind of family to foster children. If your mother doesn’t want to, then that’s her right. Don’t push the issue. I suggest spending more quality time with your little brother. He won’t be this young forever. Soon, he’ll start school and he’ll have more to do than he can imagine.

*He’s a toddler. That’s just the way they are. They want to play from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep. Its nothing new. You and your siblings were all the same way. It doesn’t mean your parents should run out and foster a child.

I applaud that you’re concerned about your little brother.

However I agree that them becoming foster parents isn’t a good way to address this situation. Foster children are (theoretically) supposed to be returned to their families when the problems get sorted out. So your little brother would have people coming and going in his life all the time. Besides that, all of the stress and strain would be on your parents.

Don’t worry about a 3 year old. He’s still getting lots of Mom’s attention right now. When he gets into pre-school he’ll have classmates.

There are 3 siblings and 2 parents in this household (minus your little brother), and you can’t find anyone willing to play with him?? There are thousands of single child homes in the US….those children are growing up just fine. You don’t entertain a child, you engage him……You have at least 5 years before you attend college…..by that time, he will be 8, annoyed with a little brother, and wanting his independence. He will make friends, thats what kids do. If he is lonely, spend time with him. If he is bored, find something for him to do. Foster children are not ‘playmates’ for your brother.

You don’t foster a child so your little brother has a friend. Fostering a child takes a lot of time and care. A foster child is not a toy and shouldn’t be treated as such. Get off the computer and take your brother to the park.

Instead of fostering a child your parents could get him a pet, they could decide on a pet and got a petstore or breeder and he pick out a puppy or a kitten or a bird or a guinea pig, there are lot’s of different animals he could get.

Im just letting you know that u cant just addop another child because ur mom has to do more responsible and plus why cant ur parents have a little time with your little brother? Being a mother takes alot of responsibilities and your gunna addop a person that is not ur own blood? What if the person u gunna addop is mean or not desame as u guys? Well idk >.> i really dont know wat im talking about.But good luck andi feel sorry for ur lil bro….

what about a dog you cpould adopt one around a year old it would have lots of energy and he would have fun

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