My dads an alchoholic. dont know for how long but its been a while… im worried my daughter is gonna see this. (im 25-shes 21 months)
what are some ways i can tell my dad that if he doesnt stop drinking, he will never see his granddaughter again with out really pissing him off,i imagine it will piss him off but…
tell him you want him to be around to see his grandbaby grow up and be apart of her life as much as he can get out of his life… offer to go with him to some AA meetings… the first is the hardest…so they say…
If you live on your own it’s actually pretty easy. Just keep family visits limited to your home and make it a policy to keep no alcohol in your home. If he brings it with him or asks why you don’t have any beer in the house just tell him that your house is dry and you prefer not to have anyone drink in front of your daughter. Then offer him whatever beverages you do have.
If you live with him, then it’s a little more difficult. The best thing you can do is move, since asking an alcoholic to change their behavior long term in their own home is a battle you aren’t going to win unless they want to stop drinking themselves.
Get whatever family members you can to subtly back you up by also not drinking around the baby, and don’t be afraid to get up and leave if he starts drinking while you are visiting at his house. Don’t be confrontational about it, but do say that you’d rather come back to visit when he isn’t drinking. Tell him you love him, and that you’ll seem him later. If he has the ability and interest to stay sober in order to see his granddaughter, he will do so. If he doesn’t there isn’t anything else you can do except do what is best for you and your child.
You Dad needs to understand the seriousness of what he did. So I would, first, advise that you don’t go over for Thanksgiving. I feel that he realizes to some extent that he made a bad mistake and is trying to pretend it didn’t happen. This is an old alcoholic trick–the family is supposed to act as if nothing happened. I would give it some time for your feelings to level off, that is calm down more. What you are feeling you are right to feel, but seeing him now would not be a good idea. Furthermore, since he has made his desires known–there’s nothing good about them–don’t be alone with him ever. Love him, now from afar, help him if he needs it, but don’t trust him. So I don’t think you need to cut him out of your life. Just be careful. I know it’s hard. Sorry you had to have such a hurtful experience. I would focus on your life, making it good, and think as little about this incident as you can manage. Best wishes.
You are wasting your breath telling an alcoholic to just stop drinking, they can’t; it’s an addiction and they have to have the desire/will to stop and to remain sober everyday for the rest of their lives. Although your father might get pissed, isn’t that really the least of your concerns? In stead of using your daughter as a tool and a threat to get him to stop drinking just tell him what is going to happen. Be VERY CLEAR and tell him that YOU CARE ABOUT HIM and want him to be apart of your daughters life BUT if he doesn’t get help for his alcoholism and stop drinking that you don’t feel comfortable nor do you want your daughter exposed to his unhealthy and negative life style and ask him to please get help and stop drinking for himself, for you and for his grand daughter otherwise he will not be visiting with his grand daughter. If he gets pissed just give him space he will cool down. Don’t take it personally if he doesn’t stop drinking, it is a disease, do some research. Good Luck
Reinforce that you love him and want him around to see her grow up and have a relationship with her, then tell him I have to protect her and give her an environment that is safe Dad… I feel we are not in a good environment when you drink Etc…
My mother is an alcoholic and she sat there and watched terrible things happen to me while she was drunk and sure she feels bad but she didn’t stop. It is a disease and he will not stop. Keep your baby safe and stay away from him until he gets the hint.
Take a video of him when he’s drank too much. When he’s sober, show him the video, and let him know you don’t want that person around your daughter.
Best thing is to not let your daughter know who he is or even know he existed, better safe than sorry. If he really loved you he would stop.
say if he does not stop drink you can do what ever you want drive to car spend all of their money etc.
he wont stop. Keep your daughter away from him.